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Bush watches Star Trek? - 1370°C

Jun. 7th, 2004

05:03 pm - Bush watches Star Trek?

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this is a bit old, but for those of you who don't read Harper's [feel free to insert your favorite tirade about the liberal media here] the following list of quotes by Bush and his official spokesmen appeared in the May issue (my smarmy commentary in italics):

The President of the United States is not a fact-checker
I'm not a statistician
I'm not a numbers-cruncher
I'm not one of these bean counters
I'm not very analytical
I'm not a precision guy
The President is not a micromanager
professions Bush isn't quite competent to pursue. with all the talk of numbers here, i wonder if he knows how to work a computer for these purposes?

I'm not a member of the legislative branch
at least he knows there are branches...

The President is not a rubber stamp for the Congress
nah, just for the military. if the President *were* a rubber stamp...what would be the text of the stamp?

I'm not a censor-guy
I'm not a lawyer
I'm not a doctor
The President is not an economist
I'm not a stockbroker or a stock-picker
I'm not a forecaster
I'm not a predictor
I'm not a pollster, a poll-reader guy
I'm not a very good prognosticator of elections
I'm not a committee chairman
more professions it's probably good he didn't choose. how is it that he knows what "prognosticator" means, but has to resort to "censor-guy" and "poll-reader guy?"

I'm not of the Washington scene
because evidently growing up with a father who's in politics and was President makes you a Washington outsider these days

I'm not a lonely person
well, ignorance = bliss. and of course, there's always god to keep you warm on those cold nights

I'm not a poet
I'm not a very good novelist
according to Amazon, he's not even a bad novelist

I'm not a textbook player
anyone have a copy of the textbook for how to run the country?

I'm not an emailer
damn, and i was all set to replace Thunderbird too! i bet he's not open source either .

I'm not a very long-winded person
I'm not a very formal guy
I am not a revengeful person
these comment themselves

I'm not an Iraqi citizen
this is weird on so many levels i don't even know where to begin, but it's good to know.

I'm not a divider
I am not a unilateralist
i'll wager the members of the other parties in this country and the leaders/citizens of the other countries in the world might disagree

I'm not a tree, I'm a Bush
i was going to say "at least he's got a sense of humor...even if it's an awful one" but i don't think he deserves even that much credit


by way of comparison, Dr. McCoy has this to say about what he is not:

What am I, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor?
I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer!
I'm a doctor, not a psychiatrist!
I'm a doctor, not a mechanic!
I'm not a scientist or a physicist
I'm a doctor, not a escalator!
I'm a doctor, not a magician!
I'm a doctor, not a flesh peddler!
I'm a doctor, not a coal miner!

Current Mood: smarmy
Current Music: Deine Lakaien: Love Me to the End

Comments:

[User Picture]
From:zevhonith
Date:June 8th, 2004 08:00 am (UTC)
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Tee-hee! I like the censor-guy one best.
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[User Picture]
From:thaildellewyn
Date:July 20th, 2004 09:37 am (UTC)
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Just hoped on by to see something you posted that wasn't a reply, and you cracked me up. =)
Two more quotes for you. Some of my all time favorites.

"There's an old saying in Tennessee... well, it's an old saying in Texas, I believe also in Tenneessee. 'Fool me once... shame on you. Fool me... I won't get fooled again.'"

"I'm a doctor not an actor!"
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